Teddy Bear

Sayaka is alone… Well not totally, she has Teddy, her stuffed bear to keep her company as she walks the streets of the city at night. She talks to Teddy, she tries to understand why the love of her life has left her. Somehow walking and hoping for rain brings Sayaka comfort.

She misses him. If only she could see more than a memory of him, if only he’d come back. Sayaka explores the beauty of the night as she walks. She points out to Teddy the eccentricities of life, love and loneliness as she goes about her various nightly activities like playing chess with Teddy or eating noodles. Before going to bed, she confronts Teddy about the lonely world they live in and tries to reassure him that life will get better… if only it would rain.

This story, Teddy Bear, will probably be one of the favorites by the viewers of Ashita. As it has very sad undertones, it is, by far, not as tragic as many other scenes in the movie. Some people may even be able to identify with Sayaka and her perspective on live. Certainly the character is a little off centre—being that she is in her late 20s and walks through the city at night talking to a teddy bear. But the same thing that makes the character and story off centre also gives is sweetness and melodramatic romanticism.

The part of Sayaka is brilliantly played by Yoshiko Nomura who brings a natural comfort to the role. I was very happy when Yoshiko accepted to play the part, I knew she would bring the character to life in the way only Yoshiko’s natural personality could. Teddy Bear was very challenging for me to create and shoot. Sayaka is indeed a very complex character, but she has to be portrayed as simple. For me, its always easy and fun to write dark, complex characters with a lot of demons... but with Sayaka who is a cute girl with a cute teddy bear, to make that kind of sweet image have complicated layers was very interesting. The fact that she talks to the stuffed bear helps, other absurdities like playing chess with the bear also adds to the layers. Essentially what I wanted to create with this story and this character was the sense of estrangement that heartbreak brings. When your heart is broken, you always feel like you’re the only one in the world who is hurting. You feel like no matter happens life will always feel this empty. Before writing the story I thought about these things and then I added the ‘what if’—What if the heartbroken feeling doesn’t go away? What if someone carried this feeling for a long, long time? What if her heart is broken because she lost her soul mate? How would it change her? How would she be affected? I bring those answers out in film, in a very unique way. I feel that the answer is not clear. Any human reaction is never fully clear. But the result is a simple girl who tries to deal with complex feelings.

-MJ

Something in the dark

The dark is cold and savage. In the distance it approaches me. I can feel it coming. I can hear its breath. Its closer than I think.

"Hello my old friend, we meet again," it whispers to me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"The same thing you are," I know its smiling. I can't see it, but I feel it. I feel that evil smile in the dark. How quickly life can change and turn--one moment all seems well and in the next it collapses.

"I don't want you here." It knows I'm scared. I can sense it in the deepest part of my soul. The dark doesn't always bring peace. The dark doesn't always bring quiet.

"You made me, now you don't want me." It's close. Very close. I can feel its cold breath. I can smell the stink. "You have to face me sometime. Were you so foolish to think that you could hide in the dark. Did you think you would find refuge here? Mercy?"

Its circling me. I can hear its heart beating. How I wish I could start over... start again. Pain or no pain, I wish I could begin everything again.

It laughs, "You are a fool." Can it hear my thoughts? Does it know what I am feeling? It laughs more. "The more you run or hide from me, the closer I get. The more you try to understand me, the more I become a part of you."

Its around me everywhere, slithering, walking, crawling. I can't tell. It tightens. It has me in its grip. The pain sets in, it fills my muscles, my nerves, my bones. It tightens its grip on me. I feel my life draining into the darkness. As the darkness absorbs my soul, I hear: "I forgive you."

Fireflies

When you sit down in a dark room and look your thoughts in the eye, you sometimes come to an awesome realization—things may be headed in the right direction. Ashita has officially been in production for a year. This doesn’t disturb me as much as it did a few months ago when I was in Vegas—I went to Vegas because I was so disturbed, overwhelmed and partially depressed and what seemed to be an unending process of making this strange experimental film. Subsequently, I was more depressed when I decided to cut one story out of the film in order to write and film another that would work better in the context of Ashita. The decision, didn’t depress me so much as the thought of having to go on set again and shoot yet another story. Lucky for me, I have some wonderful people surrounding me and they’ve revived my excitement in the shooting of this new story. I discovered this the other day while sitting in my computer room listening to the opera La Boheme blasting through my headphones.

I have been requested by some Ashita fans (thanks whoever you are, though I am still convinced it’s my mom and wife) to write more in depth entries about each story along with my critical analysis. Since I have yet to shoot the newest story, Fireflies and since it is the freshest in my mind, I will talk about it first.

Fireflies was written as a replacement for a replacement. Originally, I had another story ready to replace “Ms. Smiley” and Leona and I had had a few meetings about it. Upon further reflection, I felt that the story titled “Ai & Nana” would be best suited for another project. Having been listening to opera and drinking heavily over the past few weeks I began to wonder what happened to all the fireflies, I remember seeing them when I young, but now I don’t see so many, even in the country side. This was the beginning of my new story for Ashita… in fact I open the story with those exact words, here is the opening words of the story:

V.O.-ETSU: “I wonder whatever happened to all the fireflies. (BEAT) When I was a little girl I remember seeing so many fireflies. Today I can barely see any.”

The story follows Etsu as she’s traveled from Japan to North America to seek out her estranged father who abandoned her and her mom when she was a little girl. The only sign she every got from her father was a card every year on her birthday asking her not to forget the fireflies (seeing fireflies at beach with her father is her fondest childhood memory). Ashita is a film mainly about love, loneliness and the human condition. Throughout the film, I explore love between friends, a marriage that’s fallen apart, loneliness through routine, a lost love and love through art. With this new story, Fireflies, I wanted to explore the love between parents and children (as I am soon to become a parent, it is something that has been floating through my head). I had few ideas on how to explore this them, certainly the relationship between a parent and a child, like any other, grows constantly. Etsu has not seen her father in over 20 years, yet she still loves him and has not forgotten the memories of the fireflies at the beach. As the story progresses, Estu discovers some rather unpleasant truths about her father. Maybe the memories of the fireflies represent, to both Etsu and her father, a perfect memory. Maybe it represents the way of how each of them wishes their love could be… and by it existing in their thoughts, does it not become somewhat of a reality? The question is, can you love someone through a memory? If I knew the answer I wouldn’t have written the story. Maybe you can, even though, in most cases, a memory is either better or worse than the actual situation. A memory is what you want it to be.

Being human is not an easy thing. Though I know deep down, Etsu has had a very difficult life she still seems to have certain type of optimism. The things she learns about her father are not easy to hear. Realizing the man she is looking for is not at all the man she remembers. How difficult this reality must be to accept. Etsu, through her joyful optimism and eccentric conversations with herself, chooses to accept her memories as the truth she’d rather have. Love, life and humanity are all mysteries that Etsu, like everyone else alive tries to solve. But maybe, some mysteries remain better unsolved. Like the line says in Nussun Dorma from Puccini’s opera Turandot;

Nessun dorma!... Tu pure, o Principessa,
Nella tua fredda stanza
Guardi le stelle
Che tremano d'amore e di speranza.
Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me,
Il nome mio nessun saprà!
Solo quando la luce splenderà,
Sulla tua bocca lo dirò fremente!...
Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio
Che ti fa mia!...

Translated it says:

Nobody shall sleep!... Nobody shall sleep! Even you, o Princess, in your cold room, watch the stars, that tremble with love and with hope.But my secret is hidden within me, my name no one shall know... No!...No!... On your mouth I will tell it when the light shines.And my kiss will dissolve the silence that makes you mine!...


Yes, some mysteries are better to be left alone. Their meanings will be discovered in time and through nature.

-MJ

Ashita in a Nutshell

It stares at me like giant beacon. A pathetic reminder of the state of things:

Jesus is my homeboy.

I wonder if Jesus is opposed to the term “homeboy” and I wonder what he thinks about being used in the context of said “homeboy.”

“Eight Seventy-three,” the Korean guy says.

I hand the guy the cash, he gives me my change and I tell him, “Nice t-shirt.”

Jesus is my homeboy.

I really don’t want to do this anymore. My back hurts, my knees hurt, I’ve put on weight, haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since August 2006. I’m tired, so damn tired.

Write more about the stories... these are the orders from the producers. "We want people to get interested in what the film is about. Where do I start?

Ashita is comprised of six stories all revolving around something that will happen tomorrow. On top of the six stories we have Keiko's dance, that ties the stories to each other.

Here is a breakdown of the stories:

3 Girls, is basically that. We have Yuki, who runs... she runs from a white ghost like figure who slowly and patiently chases her. Yuki is frightened and more than anything wants to be free of the curse that follows her. Meanwhile, Miki and Ayumi are at work at the local bar. Both are fairly miserable in their lives, when a mysterious white ghost like figure appears. Their paths will cross with Yuki on a deeper level than one would imagine.

The Gift, Toshio has traveled from Tokyo in order for his estranged wife Meiko to sign divorce papers. Meiko would not sign them unless they were hand delivered by her husband. Annoyed and frustrated, Toshio got on a plane and here he is wanting to get their awful marriage finally finished. He and Meiko discuss their marriage and what possibly went wrong. Each blames the the other. Each blames themselves. Everything falls apart. Everything breaks down. Toshio simply wants Meiko to sign the divorce papers so they can each live their own lives. Before she does, she gives Toshio a gift... something that destroys his very soul and leaves him broken.

Teddy Bear, Sayaka walks through the streets at night. With her she carries Teddy, a stuffed bear and her best friend. She reflects on her life and her lost love. Sayaka misses him and tries not cry and she studies the city at night and wishes for rain. Rain, will clean everything and maybe bring him back. He asks Teddy to help stay strong as she walks through the night. She promises to take care of Teddy... she won't abandon Teddy like she was abandoned.

Cream Puff Explosion, Riko, Mizuki and Aya are reunited after five years. They used to be in a Japanese pop band together. They have all come together for Yuuka's wedding. As they three friends reminisce about the old days and about being young, some awful truths emerge from deeply hidden places and soon their friendship is tested as the lies of reality surface.

The Wonderful Elton Fuji, is a young artist. He is also a mute. His only way to express the beauty he sees in the world is through his art. He spends his days and nights sketching the world he sees. Elton is infatuated with the girl next door, the only way he knows how to tell her is through his art; one day he sketches a beautiful drawing for her and leave sit on her doorstep. What follows is a wonderful story of love without words and humanity through art.

Fireflies, is my newest story for Ashita. Etsu's father left her when she was just a little girl. But every year on her birthday she gets a letter from him. Etsu decides to travel outside of Japan to find her dad. She has so many questions, but she mainly wants to tell him he forgives him for leaving and she still loves him. When she finally finds her father's house, she meets her half sister Ami and discovers a frightening reality about her father. Things didn't quite go as Etsu had expected.


Well, that's Ashita in a nutshell I guess.

Ashita Stories

I can’t believe this… it can’t be true. I swore—I promised. I’m done, I am not making another movie. I hate this industry, I hate people I want to live far, far away, maybe a small town in Japan making coffee and reading books all day. Why am I doing this then? Why can some people get through their entire lives without ever doing this? Why do I need to be more than that? Why?

I wake up, have a cup of coffee and try to keep my mind blank with cartoons and sports highlights. I want to control my thoughts—I want to be like everybody else. Then, it starts—the voice starts. It whispers to me “Help me”. Then, the image on TV is replaced by a scared girl running away. What is she running from? “Damn it” I tell myself. “I need to call the cable company, the channels are all mixed up.”

I finish my coffee and go in the shower. The running girl is back. She’s running, she’s covered in sweat, she’s scared, it’s late a night. “Help me,” she says. “Somebody please help me.” What’s chasing her? Why doesn’t she stay and fight? What can be so bad that she’s running so much? “Stop it!” I say to myself. “Forget it.”

I get out of the shower, I slowly get dressed and head outside. The morning air, will clear my head of any disturbing creativity. As I walk I listen to my iPod, reminding myself of all those meetings I had with TV and movie executives—reminding myself that these people are dumb, they can only work in show business—they’re not even fit to be rodeo clowns, I tell myself. Then, all of a sudden, it’s night—how did it become night?—in the distance I see woman—or is it a girl?—walking alone. She’s talking to herself—no wait, she’s talking to a teddy bear. What romantic and sad sight. I try to focus on her a bit more, I want to hear what she’s telling her bear—All of a sudden it is day again. The girl is gone. It’s happening again. I swore it would never happen again—I hate this. I need more coffee. Coffee can fix anything. I don’t even recognize the part of town I’m in, but I feel comforted because there is a Tim Horton’s—surely any place with a Timmy’s can’t be so evil. I wait in line for my large double, double and possible a Boston Cream donut, finest breakfast for a toonie. Standing in front of me I see a young woman with a backpack—just another tourist visiting our fair city. Then she looks at me and smiles, "I'm here to find my father."

Well, good for you.

“He's with the fireflies.” She says to me, then turns back to place her order. Man, I ought to lay off the caffeine.

I sit on the subway, trying to figure out how to be like everybody else, when I see the woman with her teddy bear again. She appears to be in full conversation with the bear, but I cannot understand a word they are saying. “What a strange woman,” I think to myself. I turn to look away and sitting behind me I see a a big haired guy with a sketch book almost as big as he is busy at work drawing. He's drawing me. He smiles and gives me a thumbs up.

I get off the subway, trying to understand what in the hell is going on today. When I pass by another girl, who sits quietly on the subway steps, she smokes a cigarette. Everything becomes slow motion as I walk by her, she has this grin on her face, I am not sure if she's smiling or if she is in pain. "I've got a gift for him," she says. "Something that will change everything."

I really gotta stop leaving my house.

Later that night as I fall asleep I begin to think of the people that I encountered over the day. The woman on the subway steps, the scared running girl and the woman with her teddy, the guy with the sketch book. In some strange way they all seem familiar to me. They’re all connected in some way. Can it be that simple…

As I fall asleep, the answer comes, maybe I don’t make movies—maybe the movies make me.

Ashita Back on Track

How interesting things have been over the last few months. We shot our last frame of scripted Ashita (meaning anything that was written in the script) in early May.
In June we shot some sequences that were somewhat improvised with one of Toronto’s most prolific dancers Keiko Ninomiya (http://www.keiko.ca/). These sequences we shot with Keiko represent a type of story narration—much like the Chorus in ancient Greek theatre. Since the film is riddled with voice over by many of the characters, I felt that I needed some kind of overseer (this stems from my love of classic theatre and comic books) to be the puppet master or god who juggles these characters. I most certainly knew I did not want this character to talk. Upon watching a lot of Fellini movies, I got the idea for a mime or clown to be the film’s overseer. But that would change. As I edited a video I had shot of tomolennon’s art/fashion show I got to watching the dancers he had in his show. As watched and re-watched the Fellini movies, the mime was quickly changed for a dancer. Lucky for me, my lovely wife Izumi knows almost everybody in Toronto and when I mentioned to her my idea, she quickly threw Keiko’s name at me. And thus the new sequence grew. For a while, I was pent up on the dancer being a clown and I had discussed that I length with Keiko, but in the end, we went with a stoic white mask—which works and is completely frightening and sad at all the same time. I know I had a lot of fun shooting the dance sequences with Keiko and they will beautiful scenes and visually stunning.
As the post production progressed, Andy (the editor) and I discussed in great detail certain aspects of the movie and the overall feel of Ashita. I mentioned to Andy that I had certain reservations about the Miss Smiley story—this is the story of the angry female assassin that was brilliantly played by Leona Kitabayashi. I felt that the story was too different from the rest of Ashita. Of course when I wrote and shot it, it worked—but as things progressed the movie took on a new feel and the story about the assassin didn’t seem to flow with the rest of the film. Andy agreed with me and made a very good suggestion; he said he would edit it anyway and we would try it in Ashita, if it works great—if not, we have a stand alone short film. I got busy in writing a new story. I know one thing was for sure, I wanted to work with Leona again; she is a fine actor and is a pleasure to work with. When I met with Leona in July to inform her of what I had decided to do with her previous story in Ashita, I was a little nervous. I thought she was going to get angry and kung fu kick me, but luckily she was happy to work with me again (phew). Finally last week, I finished a new story called Fireflies—a much more somber story about a young lady named Etsu (played by Leona) who is looking for her father who abandoned her when she was just a little girl. I plan on shooting this story later this month.
Its funny how movies never seem to get made the way they are originally planned—based on my plans we should have been screening Ashita by now, then based on my revised plans we should have had a completed rough cut by now… but this, of, course is not the case. The case is, Ashita is right where its supposed to be. It’s a piece of art discovering itself. Like my cast and crew, I am excited to see the finished product, but I do not want to rush it… because I can see where it’s going and it will be brilliant.
On a sad, final note, this week saw the death of two of cinema’s greatest:

Ingmar Berman (July 12, 1918-July 30, 2007) who as a director, Bergman favored intuition over intellect, and chose to be unaggressive in dealing with actors. Bergman saw himself as having a great responsibility toward them, viewing them as collaborators often in a psychologically vulnerable position. He stated that a director must be both honest and supportive in order to allow others their best work. His films usually deal with existential questions of mortality, loneliness, and faith; they also tend to be direct and not overtly stylized. Persona, one of Bergman's most famous films, is unusual among Bergman's work in being both existentialist and avant-garde. I chose to pay homage to Bergman in Ashita by shooting as scene in the Teddy Bear story in which Sayaka (played wonderfully by Yoshiko Nomura) plays chess against her teddy bear… for those film enthusiasts reading this, you’ll know that one of Bergman’s most famous scenes—in fact one of the most famous scenes in cinema history is from his film The Seventh Seal where a man plays chess with the personification of death. I, like millions of others, love The Seventh Seal and I felt that a scene in which Sayaka plays chess against Teddy would not only pay homage to my love of films, but also bring a deep depth to Sayaka and what her stuffed bear symbolizes.

Michelangelo Antonioni (September 29, 1912 – July 30, 2007) was an Italian modernist film director whose films are widely considered as some of the most influential in film aesthetics. Film historian Virginia Wright Wexman describes Antonioni's perspective on the world as that of a "postreligious Marxist and existentialist intellectual." In a speech at Cannes about L'Avventura, Antonioni said that in the modern age of reason and science, mankind still lives by "a rigid and stereotyped morality which all of us recognize as such and yet sustain out of cowardice and sheer laziness". He said his films explore the paradox that "we have examined those moral attitudes very carefully, we have dissected them and analyzed them to the point of exhaustion. We have been capable of all this, but we have not been capable of finding new ones." Nine years later he expressed a similar attitude in an interview, saying that he loathed the word 'morality': "When man becomes reconciled to nature, when space becomes his true background, these words and concepts will have lost their meaning, and we will no longer have to use them." Most of Antonioni’s films explored themes of characters whose lives are empty and purposeless. Again, I studied his work extensively when preparing the melancholy tones of the characters in Ashita.
Both Bergman and Antonioni were gems to the film world and I can only hope that their influence on me and Ashita be minutely as good as their contributions to the cinematic art.

-MJ

More on Writing

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting a place called Green Mango on Yonge and Bloor… at least I think it was called Green Mango… with Rumiko and Kana, two of the lovely ladies from Ashita’s story Cream Puff Explosion. And we were discussing acting and Ashita of course. I was thrilled to hear from both of them that they were excited to see the finished film and Rumiko quickly mentioned that if I were doing another film, that she would love to act for me again—I took that as the ultimate compliment.
The topic of the next film often comes up in my conversations with people working on this movie, again, their eagerness to want to work with me again is taken as the highest of all compliments. But, thankfully, I am not a big movie studio that churns out movies once a year… and I most certainly do not plan sequels while still in production of the first movie. Though, Ashita (the Japanese word for tomorrow) could easily have follow ups titles Today and Yesterday, but I do not work like that.
For me, writing is an escape from this crazy world we live in. The thought of being alone in a room with music, coffee and my imagination is refreshing. Sitting there creating a world, where I can be as violent or as peaceful as I want. I can hate, I can love, I can be happy, sad, angry… I can be or make whatever I want with this world. And usually I write when I have something to say, I don’t just write because I have to make another movie.
As a writer, Ashita has been the most interesting of all my projects, it’s the only film where I’ve had to remove an entire part of the story and replace with a new one. I guess this is either perfectionist or total insanity. But some people think that writing is simply writing about what happened to you. It’s more than that, its much, much more—it’s about bringing out all the moments in your life and all the feelings in your heart. Writing is less about documenting your experiences and more about what you retained from them. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll every stop writing, as to whether it will be a movie or not, I don’t know. I have often debated writing a novel. Recently, I wrote my very first manga (comic book) which was a lot of fun. My first film The Meatball Story, was never intended to be a made as a film. I wrote it as a play and was fully preparing to produce it as a play when the harsh realities of theatre (sometimes harsher than the realities of movies) came crashing into me like Optimus Prime at an Energon cube party (geek alert, geek alert).
Interestingly, today, I saw 8 people reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows a book released only 3 days ago and the last of Harry Potter global phenomenon series. For all you would be writers out there, lets take J.K. Rowling as an example—as in my previous entries, I make references to what literary muggles would refer to as obscure personalities. J.K. Rowling, from what I understand, was a single mother and unemployed at the time she wrote the first Harry Potter book. Based on my earlier statement of writing about how your life is affected by your experiences. Here is a lady, who had very little money, writing about a boy wizard, who will grow up to save the world and be the greatest wizard in history. Now, I highly doubt that Rowling was foreshadowing her future as the most successful authors ever and as the richest woman on the planet. Or did she? I will conclude with a quote by the great Neil Simon who once said: “If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.” This coming from a man who wrote some of the greatest comedies of contemporary theatre. Interesting, n’est pas?