Fireflies

When you sit down in a dark room and look your thoughts in the eye, you sometimes come to an awesome realization—things may be headed in the right direction. Ashita has officially been in production for a year. This doesn’t disturb me as much as it did a few months ago when I was in Vegas—I went to Vegas because I was so disturbed, overwhelmed and partially depressed and what seemed to be an unending process of making this strange experimental film. Subsequently, I was more depressed when I decided to cut one story out of the film in order to write and film another that would work better in the context of Ashita. The decision, didn’t depress me so much as the thought of having to go on set again and shoot yet another story. Lucky for me, I have some wonderful people surrounding me and they’ve revived my excitement in the shooting of this new story. I discovered this the other day while sitting in my computer room listening to the opera La Boheme blasting through my headphones.

I have been requested by some Ashita fans (thanks whoever you are, though I am still convinced it’s my mom and wife) to write more in depth entries about each story along with my critical analysis. Since I have yet to shoot the newest story, Fireflies and since it is the freshest in my mind, I will talk about it first.

Fireflies was written as a replacement for a replacement. Originally, I had another story ready to replace “Ms. Smiley” and Leona and I had had a few meetings about it. Upon further reflection, I felt that the story titled “Ai & Nana” would be best suited for another project. Having been listening to opera and drinking heavily over the past few weeks I began to wonder what happened to all the fireflies, I remember seeing them when I young, but now I don’t see so many, even in the country side. This was the beginning of my new story for Ashita… in fact I open the story with those exact words, here is the opening words of the story:

V.O.-ETSU: “I wonder whatever happened to all the fireflies. (BEAT) When I was a little girl I remember seeing so many fireflies. Today I can barely see any.”

The story follows Etsu as she’s traveled from Japan to North America to seek out her estranged father who abandoned her and her mom when she was a little girl. The only sign she every got from her father was a card every year on her birthday asking her not to forget the fireflies (seeing fireflies at beach with her father is her fondest childhood memory). Ashita is a film mainly about love, loneliness and the human condition. Throughout the film, I explore love between friends, a marriage that’s fallen apart, loneliness through routine, a lost love and love through art. With this new story, Fireflies, I wanted to explore the love between parents and children (as I am soon to become a parent, it is something that has been floating through my head). I had few ideas on how to explore this them, certainly the relationship between a parent and a child, like any other, grows constantly. Etsu has not seen her father in over 20 years, yet she still loves him and has not forgotten the memories of the fireflies at the beach. As the story progresses, Estu discovers some rather unpleasant truths about her father. Maybe the memories of the fireflies represent, to both Etsu and her father, a perfect memory. Maybe it represents the way of how each of them wishes their love could be… and by it existing in their thoughts, does it not become somewhat of a reality? The question is, can you love someone through a memory? If I knew the answer I wouldn’t have written the story. Maybe you can, even though, in most cases, a memory is either better or worse than the actual situation. A memory is what you want it to be.

Being human is not an easy thing. Though I know deep down, Etsu has had a very difficult life she still seems to have certain type of optimism. The things she learns about her father are not easy to hear. Realizing the man she is looking for is not at all the man she remembers. How difficult this reality must be to accept. Etsu, through her joyful optimism and eccentric conversations with herself, chooses to accept her memories as the truth she’d rather have. Love, life and humanity are all mysteries that Etsu, like everyone else alive tries to solve. But maybe, some mysteries remain better unsolved. Like the line says in Nussun Dorma from Puccini’s opera Turandot;

Nessun dorma!... Tu pure, o Principessa,
Nella tua fredda stanza
Guardi le stelle
Che tremano d'amore e di speranza.
Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me,
Il nome mio nessun saprà!
Solo quando la luce splenderà,
Sulla tua bocca lo dirò fremente!...
Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio
Che ti fa mia!...

Translated it says:

Nobody shall sleep!... Nobody shall sleep! Even you, o Princess, in your cold room, watch the stars, that tremble with love and with hope.But my secret is hidden within me, my name no one shall know... No!...No!... On your mouth I will tell it when the light shines.And my kiss will dissolve the silence that makes you mine!...


Yes, some mysteries are better to be left alone. Their meanings will be discovered in time and through nature.

-MJ