On Making Movies

I sit in the editing room with Andy the editor, Izumi has got the headphones on, translating the scenes into rough English to allow Andy to cut the film together. Almost a year has passed since we began this little adventure titled Ashita. I feel old... and since I joined Facebook I feel even older. I see so many people from my past and I remember clearly in my young days, I had promised--I had sworn by the time I reached today I would be successful... I would be somebody. I sit and watch Andy and Izumi work and I smile--success is a state of mind. Am I happy with my world? After all am I not doing what I've always wanted to do? A lot of people will say that making movies my way is a sign of success, I will thank them and say, that being married to a wonderful woman who understands why I need to make movies is a better sign of success. Being surrounded by people who have a genuine interest in my ideas--people who help to bring my dream to life is a sign of success.
I have a lot of regrets in my life, there are a lot of things I wish I could change, but the past is just that... I can't undo it. There are very few things in my life that make sense, my wife is one and these movies I make are another. Good or bad, my movies are a part of me--with each one I grow and find deeper meaning in the art. And good or bad, I am proud of them. When people get interested in making movies, acting or performing they are quick to want fame and fortune... but some of us realize that our need, our passion for our art is not about fame and fortune, in fact its about something much deeper, much more personal. That's the only way I can explain it, there is no way to describe it properly, it's just inside you... like a dark secret that the whole world can see.